The excessive criticalness of the T person prevents him from accepting another person as he is and enjoying what he likes about him. Instead he focuses on the negative—on what he doesn't like. For example, when a T couple spends an evening with friends, their conversation afterward consists of critical, derogatory observations about the evening: what was wrong with the other guests, the host, the refreshments. The T person has a negative attitude toward himself and the world. He seems to be attracted to trouble and unhappiness. Often he appears suspiciously eager to hear about other people's problems. He rarely seems to enjoy himself. Instead, he concentrates on what has been bad or unsatisfactory about his experiences.
This attitude frequently accounts for the insatiability of the T person. His incessant demanding reflects his chronic dissatisfaction, for which he seeks to compensate by gorging himself. Since he is incapable of finding inner peace, bis greed tends to be endless. It may take the form of a compulsive quest for money, material things, success, sex, food, or anything else that seems to promise some satisfaction. Frequently, the T person becomes even more desperate when he achieves "success," as he discovers that attaining his goal fails to bring the hoped-for happiness. He can then only redouble his efforts or fall into a state of depression.
Living a nourishing life is an ongoing process of recognizing and responding to our changing needs and the changing reality of ourself and our world. |
